HOW TO RESTART YOUR DAY

Today I made a phone call to about some important paperwork that I needed, but never received it as I had made a request for it nearly a month or so prior. That phone call was very triggering. I was feeling extremely emotional and overwhelmed after I hung up. So emotional that my mind automatically went to the extreme of racing thoughts just zooming by, round and round, in head similar to a nascar race.

The thoughts were….

”You can’t do this”
”I can’t handle this adult stuff”
”I’m kidding myself”
”I can’t make it on my own”
”Maybe it was a mistake moving out and not living with family”
”I need a release”

…then I caught myself staring at my X-ATO knife. I cannot lie, I was very tempted to pick up the blade and just start slicing my skin…

but I didn’t….
instead I decided to eat some breakfast, so I cold take my medicine (in which I struggle with taking consistently).

As time passed by and I was feeling the effects of the meds kicking it, I made the conscious decision to restart my day.
I made myself some ginger and lemon tea.

I put my positive affirmation audio on speaker and mediated.
As I go back, sit and think about the morning, I can genuinely admit that I am proud of myself.
I was able to with stand a strong temptation and replace it with more healthy coping mechanisms.
I am so amazed about how I was able to suddenly flip that switch by myself.
That retraining your mind method by practicing the coping mechanisms really does work.
What I took away from this lesson is understanding the importance of just letting my thoughts happen instead of trying to fight/stop them. Because it seems the more I try to fight against them the less control I have over them. When I fight against it, it is as if I’m dismissing them and allowing myself to be in denial.
Since I allowed those thoughts to roam free, I was able to gain a conscious acceptance; allowing myself to be able to redirect and flip them into a positive.